I have committed to 22 days of exploring the spiritual practice of receiving. I will examine my heart’s greatest desire of complete self-love and its relationship with a variety of receiving states.
Receiving State: Revealing
When I think of how self-love relates to revealing, I think of how it is an act of love to reveal the false beliefs that I hold inside. Beliefs that are often negative and limiting.
Earlier today, my husband and I were discussing preparing for an upcoming condo renovation. As part of this, I need to remove some items from my closet and place them in the living room which should remain dust free. The thought that rose up was, “but my heart will be on display”.
I felt a part of me wanting to resist that admission. Afterall, who wants to think that their heart is in things, but I chose to surrender and let the false belief be revealed and the feeling of shame rise-up to be released.
I realize this is one of the false beliefs I have carried around since childhood. That I am unable to create intimate connections with people because I can’t handle emotion, or just don’t want to be bothered. Just from the few months I’ve been with Bodhi, I know this is not the truth of who I am. It was how my step-dad interacted with me and I ASSUMED that was HIS truth. He would give me money or buy me something but he wasn’t interested in conversation or spending time with me. I’m now willing to consider that I was wrong about ‘fear or resistance to intimacy’ being his truth as well.
I’m continuing with the 22 days of Receiving practice recommended by Edward Viljoen. Gotta love those Bodhi Spiritual Center classes and workshops!!