Another post of wisdom from Michelle Gaza:
“There is a tension around the directive to forgive. The tension comes from a belief that certain Parts of us hold: a belief that forgiving means there will be no alignment with righteousness. We have Parts of us that resist forgiveness because they feel that the wrongdoer must be realigned with what is right and good, and that forgiving them lets them remain mis-aligned. The logic of this is understandable, and if our Parts have been traumatized, of course they want to stop that trauma from happening again!
But what these Parts of us fail to realize is that forgiving IS the realignment. Forgiving IS the justice. Why? Because the “evildoer” is only showing us what was done to them, and what they are doing to themselves. The way they are treating us is the way they treat themselves. The way they are treating us is the way they were treated. Even when that is not apparent externally, they are doing it internally, often unconsciously. They are only showing us how much pain they are in, how confused and lost and lonely they are. By forgiving, we not only release them, but we also release ourselves to outshine the shadow and invite it into the sunshine of the True Self.
Forgiveness is so advanced because it is a symptom of Unity Consciousness. It is a symptom of Self-leadership because the person who knows their true Self also sees that the true Self is in each and every one. So by forgiving, we pass the grace to the next person to recognize that the Part of them that was out-of-order and misbehaving was just a Part, and not their real identity. It was a Part obscuring their True Nature, their Core Self. Forgiving them is a sign of confidence in their real Self emerging, despite appearances. It is the grace of not identifying someone as the worst Part of themselves, but instead seeing that behavior as coming from a Part of them, and not their core Being.
This can only happen authentically when we have healed our own Parts and are walking in Self-Leadership. Then forgiveness is natural and effortless. In the meantime, don’t fake-it-til-you-make-it. If you cannot forgive, instead go inside and do the work to heal your inner trauma and wounds. Once you do that forgiveness is a natural byproduct and you won’t have to work at it. Instead, the forgiveness will overcome you.”
I am just starting on my forgiveness journey. As Michelle recommended, my approach will be to focus on healing.
With hope and grace,