We are often encouraged to express gratitude for those things we want to increase in our life experience. The theory is that anything you give energy to is multiplied and drawn to you in greater quantities.
My gratitude practice includes every mind-blowing, soul expanding erotic moment in my life. Each time I am taken away by pleasure, I discover something new about my mind, body and spirit. I discover my capacity to connect with another and surrender to something outside of myself. I appreciate my capacity to fully embody the wholeness required to completely let go.
This does not always mean I am welcoming someone into my body. The most intense experiences are when I take someone fully into my heart and mind. There are no walls — no boundaries — no fear.
Bearing witness to someone surrendering to their instincts–just being with them in the moment they lose themselves–is fucking powerful. And to find someone you trust enough to fall into that void with them, well, it’s a rare and beautiful gift.
On a less sublime level, I think it’s also about being present in the Now and existing in a state of Flow, where you are wholly consumed with what you are doing. These are purportedly optimal states for achieving happiness, inner peace and well-being. (See also: Ekhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow). The orgasm is, like, a bonus to what’s really going on.
~Jill Hamilton, Why We Fuck
Great sex, like happiness more generally, may be the precious and sublime exception. During our most fortunate encounters, it is rare for us to appreciate how privileged we are. It is only as we get older, and look back repeatedly and nostalgically to a few erotic episodes, that we start to realize with what stinginess nature extends her gifts to us–and therefore what an extraordinary and rare achievement of biology, psychology and timing satisfying sex really is.”
~Alain de Botton, How to Think More About Sex
As one reader so elegantly wrote, “Ah, how fascinating to discover the many facets of our sexuality. The ultimate in experiences: to be overcome by passion: to give one’s self up, to surrender. To surrender to your partner, to surrender to the moment, and to surrender to yourself.”
Each erotic encounter, should be treasured as a magic that feeds the soul.