Don’t Downplay Your Trauma


I have worked in the healing arts for over two decades now, and one thing that I see repeatedly is that traumatized people tend to downplay or dismiss their trauma.  I have heard stories from clients of shocking abuse, followed by the same client saying “But I can’t complain, there are people who had it worse.”

This has always confounded me, perhaps because of a constant underlying awareness that we are all One.  I was never really clear how knowing that someone else “had it worse” was supposed to make me feel better.

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Pain is pain, suffering is suffering, trauma is trauma.  If you are in pain, there is no shame in that, and no need to rank your pain or compare it to that of others.  Allow yourself to have compassion for you!  Allow yourself to cry for YOU!  This is not selfish, this is so deeply generous. Because as you heal your own traumas, you are healing the collective.  

You are part of the Whole. You matter, your feelings and health and wellbeing matter!  Please be kind to yourself about the things you have suffered through.  This is not coddling, this is releasing!  Denying it and downplaying it and staying numb are only coping mechanisms, not healing mechanisms.  Please forgive yourself for experiencing being victimized.  You might have been victimized, but that does not mean you are a victim, that this is your entire identity.  You can move from victimhood to victory.

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You can heal, and healing is the most selfless act you can engage in.  Because as you heal, you have more to give, you have more power to share, and you help make it easier for others to do the same.

Heal yourself and you heal the world.

Image Credit: Victor Ross

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